I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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