Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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