dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
