Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
