my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
