Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
