The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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