so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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