I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
