Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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