Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
