I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
