We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize