i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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