dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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