youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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