I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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