garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
