In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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