Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
