I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
