Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
