R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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