I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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