dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize