Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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