capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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