Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
