i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
