Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize