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This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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