with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
