And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
