I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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