There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize