I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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