i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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