What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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