we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize