We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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