these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
