when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
