I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
