I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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