I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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