She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
