We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
