so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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