He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
