Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize