The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
