My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
