is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
