I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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