Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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