I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Randomize