yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
