I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize