if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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