Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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