the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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