The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize