It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
