she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
