i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
