I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
