You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
