if you like me you must not know who I am
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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