i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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