I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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