Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
