I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
