I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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