and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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